Wednesday, October 30, 2013

A Little Fun With My Own Google Listings - Melissa Cartagena

These days with so many people out of work many folks are really trying to set themselves apart. It just sparked an interest in me to have a little fun with my very own Google search results.  

Thursday, May 16, 2013 Bob Marley

I read this and just really felt I needed to share it....

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
Bob Marley

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

13 Most Contemptuous Corporate Speak Terms

In these days of digital connectedness many of us take advantage of online media to keep abreast of what is going in the world. Some of us just like to read funny anecdotes to get our blood circulating in the morning. Then there are those of us who just read what catches our eye and sometimes we come across something worth sharing. My daily website of choice is, they not only offer quality content on social media but also on writing and editing which always make me giggle. I read this and it made me laugh these terms are truly atrocious and the unfortunate part is people use them every day despite that they are just fluff.  

I give props to the original author, Paula Kiger, who writes about the 12 supercilious corporate speak terms, but I did have to add one more for flavor…..

1.Synergy - People say this if they want people with complementary talents or resources to find a way to do something that would be impossible without working together.

Translation: "You have something I need. I have something you need. Let's make something great together."

2. Leverage - People say this if they want to use something that has already been done, bought or said to move a project forward without having to start from scratch.

Translation: "Joe already has his project management certification. Let's take advantage of that instead of paying for someone else to get theirs."

3. Pedagogy - The person who says this is someone in the field of education who chose to use four syllables when two would do: "teaching."

Translation: "Teaching educates students." – Just a side note on this one, I have NEVER heard this term being used in corporate America, but now that I have I think I feel compelled to find a way to use it just to see what other people would say.

4. Deep dive - This is a legitimate IT term that means to immerse a group quickly into a topic to brainstorm an idea or solve a problem. But as a layperson in meetings where people use the term, it always makes me giggle a tiny bit and lose track of my corporate-speak tick marks.

Translation: "Let's all think quickly and rapidly about this concept so we can get some good ideas going."

5. Scalable - People say this when they want the work done in step one to be something they can make bigger and easier without recreating the wheel. Like "deep dive," it is legitimate in IT.

Translation: "We're going to program this function for your 10 users, but if the idea catches on and a million users want to do the same thing, it will be easy to do that."

6. Ping - Someone who wants to communicate with someone else quickly and electronically without looking him in the eyes says this. There's no translation, but if you really want to throw someone off, walk two doors down to his desk and look him in the eyes. I love this term I use it all the time

7. Actionable - The person who says this is someone who is seriously hoping what he wrote on paper will, in reality, work.

Translation: "It will work." ”Hoping”, is the key word here...

8. Mitigate - People say this if they are facing a lengthy Gantt chart or project plan, and seriously hope to prevent something from derailing progress.

Translation: "Let's make sure things don't go wrong." Always have a mitigation plan, don't learn the hard way.

9. Granularity - This is what the person taking the deep dive has to wade—or swim—through: a bunch of very specific details.

Translation: "You will need to read 200 pages in that work plan to make sure there is a plan to close the door when it gets cold outside." IMHO, don't use this term if it’s not necessary. It just sounds silly despite the fact that you might think it makes you sound intelligent.

10. Seamless - People say this in public programs where the goal is for fifteen entities to make it look like they are one from the client's end. Seamless doesn't happen often. When it does, there's a lot of hard work going on in the background.

Translation: "It took five entities with lengthy names to make your 'one-stop' application a reality. Five more will handle it before you get an answer."

11. In the weeds - This is where you are while you deal with granularity and are on the verge of taking a deep dive. It is where you are threatened with losing sight of the main objective. I don't think I have never heard anyone in corporate America use this term unless they had some history of previous employment as a waiter.

Translation: "While you are re-writing a letter no one will need to receive for two years, someone else is getting credibility points for saying, 'Let's break this process down into manageable pieces. The weeds are a bad place to be unless you have a way out.'"

12. Robust - This means we want to keep the contract—we really do. We have a plan.
Translation: "Our plan/project/product is no lightweight." I am guilty of using this term, I don't think it is a bad thing.

Finally the one that the author missed:

13. Level-Set - To get everyone on the same page, singing from the same choir sheet. This phrase just sounds to me like it has an I-am-slightly-smarter-than-you-all ring to it.

Translation: "While you thought it meant this it really meant that, just making sure you were all paying attention."

It’s the little things that make me smile sometimes. J